


Loveless Autumn Love

by AromanticShortStories



Series: Aromantic Halloween [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Established Relationship, Halloween prompt, Mentions of sexual activity, Other, POV Second Person, lithromantic character, romance-favorable aromantic, sex-favorable asexual character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 22:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16168472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AromanticShortStories/pseuds/AromanticShortStories
Summary: Sometimes aromantic relationships are complicated, and sometimes they just fall into place.





	Loveless Autumn Love

There is a small bag of Halloween chocolates on your desk when you get to work and it takes you a moment to notice them. They are a little off to the side and inconspicuous, obviously put there so no one else notices them. You glance around slightly in confusion before hesitantly pulling the bag towards you. It’s pretty generic, just one of those small bags of Halloween candies you can grab at any convenience store. The unopened bag and doesn’t look tampered with and you shrug before deciding to keep it.

You’re not about to say no to chocolate.

——————

There are gummies on your desk the next day. The sour gummy-worms that were colored black and orange and with a skeletal hand on the front of the bag. You pick it up and stare at it, a feeling of dread starting to sink into your stomach as you get the feeling you might know what this is.

You look around your desk for a card but you don’t find any.

You’re on edge the rest of the day.

——————

Wednesday brings a bag of pumpkin-shaped marshmallows covered in orange sugar. You had called all of your family the day before to see if they were sending them or playing a trick on you but they had been just as confused as you were. Your sense of dread only increased.

——————

Thursday there was a box of jellybeans on your desk. Only the red kind. The stared at them and you could feel them staring back. You leaned over towards the person in the desk next to you and asked if they had seen anyone drop by your desk. They had frowned at you in confusion and shaken their head.

You are almost completely sure you know exactly what this is.

——————

You’re stressed out by the end of the week. Today There hadn’t been any candy but a stuffed ghost, it was _adorable_ and you hated it. You needed a break and something to take your mind off of the whole thing so you decide to call and see if Eli is free. Eli is, in simple terms, you’re ‘fuck-buddy’. The details of the arrangement make things a bit more complicated than that you admit but, at the end of the day it does pretty much come down to ‘friends that exclusively have sex with each other because it’s easier.’

Eli is thankful free and up for it and meets you after work to head over to your place. You both prefer your place because, while Eli’s cats are cute, they are less cute when they are meowing non-stop at the bedroom door while you are trying to ‘get it on’.

“Rough week?” Eli asks after round one where you are feeling pleasantly more relaxed and you glance over at them.

“Something like that.” You admit, remembering exactly why you are so stressed out.

“You want to tell me about it?” Eli offers, looking a little worried. “I would be a pretty shit fuck-buddy if I didn’t cover the ‘buddy’ part too.” They smile and you laugh. Eli was a friend before the sex part of your relationship started and you were pretty happy that you had managed to keep up the friend half along with it.

“Someone has been leaving Halloween candy on my desk.” You finally admit after a moment. “I’m worried it’s a ‘secret admirer.’”

“Oh.” Eli says and you look over to them. They look worried but mostly confused.

“I hate secret admirers!” You tell them, a little distraught.

“I thought you liked romance?” They offer.

“I do.” You groan, placing your hands over your face again. “I do! I like the concept of a secret admirer I just don’t like the expectation at the end that I have to return it.”

Eli is well aware that you are aromantic. A romance-favorable aromantic but aromantic all the same. “At some point they are going to come forward with flowers or something and confess to me and expect me to have fallen in love with them because of anonymous Halloween candy and then I’m going to have to sit there and reject them and then feel worse because I didn’t even think to save the candy to return it to them instead!”

You had gotten a little too loud at the end and it takes you a moment to realize that Eli is nudging you with a glass of water. You stare at them before sighing and sitting up to take it.

“I hate secret admirers” you reiterate, a little pouty this time as you sip your drink. “Just wish whoever it was would just confess and have it over with. Like pulling off a band-aid. I don’t think I can take another three weeks of this.”

“Ya. I can see that.” Eli says, frowning deeply as if thinking. “Think another round might help you take your mind off it?”

“Oh fuck _yes._ ”

———————-

There is no candy on your desk the next Monday and you feel relief and just a tiny bit sad. You hadn’t lied to Eli, you liked being on the receiving end of the romance and there was something thrilling about a secret admirer, but the relief outweighed the sadness by a large amount. Ya, you liked the candy, but having the weight of an expected romantic relationship lifted from your shoulders felt far better than chocolate ever could.

Still, you couldn’t help but worry that maybe, whoever it was, was just out sick that day and this would start back up all over again.

You pushed the thought aside though and started in on your work and, by the time Eli text you to see if you wanted to grab lunch with them you had mostly put it from your mind completely.

——————-

“You?!”

“Ya.”

“Damn it. Fucking- Eli you-“

“You’re panicking, please just let me explain-“

“Explain?! Eli you know I’m aromantic! You know I can’t return your feelings! Of all-“

“I’m Lithromantic.” They cut you off and their words actually do give you pause, cutting through the panic that had been building in you.

“...what?”

“Lithromantic It’s where you-“

“Feel romantic attraction until it’s returned.Ya. I know.” You slump in your chair, putting your face in your hands. Eli is silent in front of you, waiting for a further response as you force yourself to breathe..

“How long?”

“For the ‘figuring out I was Lithromantic’ or the-“

“The ‘feeling romantic attraction towards me’ thing.” you clarify.

“It’s a new thing. Mid-September maybe?” And you’re almost relieved to know this hasn’t been going on that long. Three weeks maybe. At least they haven’t been hiding this from you from the start.

“I know what we agreed to,” they start when you don’t say anything, “and - shit, I knew I had to tell you. That was kind of the point of the agreement we had in the first place but I kind of realized during this whole process that...If I ever stood a chance of having my love life work out it’s...with an aromantic person. You mentioned liking romantic stuff just not the, you know, expectations that came with it and ...I kind of went…’shit, okay maybe we can make this work.’” They pause after that large run-on, slowly getting faster and faster with their explanation and you think they are the one panicking now. Still, you know they aren’t done talking and, somehow, it doesn’t feel right to cut them off and walk out then.

“I know our agreement was no romantic feelings.” They go on “I know that and I...started this knowing there was a good chance this would be where we split ways but...I wanted to try to I...wanted to propose a new arrangement.” They dig through their bag and pull out a small stack of papers.

“You….actually typed up a physical contract?” You say as you finally look up again. You’re not sure if you should laugh or be impressed.

“Given that when we decided to start the ‘friends with benefits’ thing we ended up sitting for two hours hashing things out verbally I figured this might be a little more convenient.” They said, waving the pile of papers lightly. “That and lunch is only thirty-minutes and I knew the ‘big reveal’ would take up most of that.”

“You nearly gave me a panic attack!” You remind them at being reminded of the ‘big reveal’ thing. “Last week was hell for me!”

“Ya I...kind of didn’t think the ‘anonymous’ gifts thing through.” They admit, cringing and looking apologetic before pushing the other bag they were carrying over to you along with the papers. It’s full of Halloween candy and stuffed Halloween toys. “And I am really sorry about that. So uh...here is the rest of the candy I had planned to give you. Figured it shouldn’t go to waste.”

You reach over and take the papers, it’s really not that long. Three, maybe four pages. You also take the candy because, well, candy.

“You really don’t want me to return your feelings?” You ask, hesitant but kind of hopeful.

“I’m actually kind of counting on it.”

——————-

The contract ends up being mostly a re-hashing of the verbal agreement you two had set out two years ago and you get the feeling that Eli had this part written out since then. You’re not too surprised by that, Eli is a forgetful kind of person so typing things out helps them a lot. Still, you smile at seeing the Halloween themed bullet-point pumpkins on the side. You wonder if those are new or not. You started this whole arrangement two Halloween’s ago after the company party. Somehow doing this now feels...fitting.

You skimmed through everything first, taking a quick note of where everything was and what seemed had been added. You were still a little hesitant about the whole thing until you got to a blank area that they had left for you. It read like this:

_“I want to do romanc-y things for you. Please don’t do romanc-y things for me._

_Romantic coded things that are okay for Eli to do:_

 -

 -

 -

 -

_Romance coded things Eli is okay having done to them:_

__-_ Nothing.” _

It had...been shockingly nice to see written out in plain text and it made it that much more believable that it was true.

You get to the last page finally, after reading everything over, and frown. The last page is only a short letter.

_“You accepted that I would never be able to feel sexual attraction towards you. I hope you trust me when I say that I accept (and hope) you will never feel romantic attraction towards me._

 -  _Eli”_

You run a hand down your face and sigh.

—————-

Eli doesn’t approach you the next day. You know that they are giving you space to work things through your own head and to make sure 2+2=4. You had read through the contract a few more times, making a few notes but overall finding nothing that you really disagreed with.

Once you were ready you had taken a long moment to write into the area left blank for you all the romantic things you always wanted to try but had never had the opportunity to. It was kind of thrilling to know you could try them now.

So you end up inviting Eli to lunch again and you pass the contract back with just a few edits. You give them a small smile as you do, hoping its a comfort.

They take the paperwork and you could see that they were slightly nervous as they turn through the contract before pausing at your list to read. You were a little ashamed when you had gone back through and re-read everything you had listed. It had been mostly romantic stuff which involved almost no interaction with the other person. Things like 'getting surprise gifts is kind of nice' and 'random texts are pretty fun (to a reasonable extent)' but there were other things that you thought might benefit the two of you like the last thing you had written…

By the laugh Eli let out as they got to the end of the short list you think they might agree.

“‘We should take advantage of couples vacation packets’ really?” They asked as they smiled up at you.

“What?!” You complained, obviously teasing “they are great deals and I’ve always wanted to go on a cruise!”

By their smile, you think they might agree.

—————-

There are a few other things to hash out, and additional clarification that anything not on that list was off-limits along with an added clause about not going on or expecting dates. Eli had been the one to bring it up, probably having realized it needed saying after the ‘couples vacation’ part but it was easy for you to agree to it.

“It’s just too much romance directed towards both sides you know? Too much expectation.” They had mumbled and you had nodded.

“No ya. I get it. I would end up feeling like shit if we went on dates and I didn’t like...bring you something. It’s stupid I know but-“

“Kinda hard to shake the expectation.”

“Ya.”

You both go silent for a moment, you think about all the times you’ve tried to force yourself to be romantic for a date and Eli likely remembering all the times they have had to force themselves to accept romantic on a date.

“Except those Valentine’s Day brunch specials.” They finally speak up.

“Oh hell yes!” You agree instantly “I can finally get my hands on those too-chocolaty concoctions they always show off!”

“And discounted champagne.”

“ _Hell yes_!”

——————

The company Halloween party is no different than it ever is. There are no couples costumes for you and Eli, no holding hands, no real outward signs that anything in your relationship with Eli has changed. You chat and talk and mingle with your co-workers and, at the end of the night, you both go back to your place for after-party sex. It is as good as always and, just like always Eli heads out when you are both done. You get up to shower and when you head back to bed you notice the small bag of Halloween candles on your tableside. You smile widely as you pick them up and look at the birthday card accompanying it. The 'birthday' is scratched out to say ‘Halloween’ instead.

You laugh as you grab a piece of candy and pop it in your mouth. You think this might just work out.


End file.
